Getting honest with myself on a Tuesday

I was sitting in B & N listening to a group of people discuss the plans for an upcoming wedding and I got to thinking.

Why don’t I have Pro Life people getting together for discussions on stopping abortion?

After all the simple answers went through my head I came to the right one.

I am not trying to put together a group.

This is way to honest for a Tuesday... but it is true.

So how to plan this out?

Do I post in the paper?...no.. I am scared of who might show up.

Ask at church? .... maybe.

Send out a Facebook invite? Maybe there are a lot of Christian on there!

Look on Craiglist for a group with the same interest? noooo.

What about the people that come on Saturday .... no they are already there.

What about the pregnancy center? ... maybe

What about my neighbors? no

“because if I gave an honest Tuesday answer ---

I am a little scared and

maybe I will lose what few friends I have in the neighborhood.”

And if that is the case just how much do I really want to help save babies?

Am I ready to lose all in order to save the helpless?

If I am scared to ask around to some neighbors, then how can I expect a young frightened girl to trust me when the first time she sees me is on a Saturday morning when she is going in for the hardest thing she has ever done?

*my 4 closes neighbors know and have been invited*

Of course after all this mind blowing thinking I am back at the beginning.

“When all else fails PRAY” I should be praying first not last in my search.

So much for spiritual growth!

I pray God will bring together a group of support for me. Just a few close friends who want to be a part of this last line of protection. For that is truly what we are. We are the last people, calling out to try and save that baby. We are the last voice that says I love you to her precious baby. I know that sounds odd, but some of the women do not believe they have a baby yet. We are the last ones to beg the Mommies to stop and let her baby live. And on that day at that moment we cry for her baby. I know that later in a quiet moment she will grieve her baby’s death and her part in it.

The emotion of what takes place every week needs to be healed in prayer. The stress of knowing that when a lady goes in a baby dies can only be handled in prayer. Every week a part of me breaks as I watch babies die. I do not want to burn out. I do not want to run away from the truth. I want to be a fighter for God and His creation. I am use to God & I winning. But seeing this over and over is tough. Asking God to show me if I am making a difference seems petty and selfish. For who am I, to think I am so special that I am making any difference? What I am is a whining little girl. I am wanting my Father to tell me, I am so special, that He will give me instant gratification. That just because I joined this group of Pro Life Warriors we will see results every Saturday.

I need to pray more.

I need to stay strong.

I need to stay brave.

And I need to turn to my Lord.

Please if you know of an abortion clinic in your area, go there and say a prayer to our Lord for the women who have came, who will come and for all the babies.

Art & Abortion

On Thursday I was given the opportunity to participate in a sidewalk demonstration.

It was very eye opening for me.

You are either for abortion or you are Pro Life.

Planned Parenthood was the benefactor of local artists offering a 50/50 split from the sales of that night's showing. The name of the exhibition was ReNude.

In the windows were mannequins that had been spray painted bright colors.

And condoms were thrown across the showcase floors.

So the location was already attracting attention.

We arrived about 30 minutes before the doors were to open.

So while my friends were carrying signs about Planned Parenthood,

I got to walk with "my buttercup" aka grand baby, and enjoy our outing.

My friends did get the worse thrown at them.

One lady that tried to argue and shout in my face began by telling me .....

"You don't care about babies"

"You don't care about children"

"What have you ever done to help them?"

These opening remarks are meant to get us to respond to the personal insults.

To get emotional and forget about the facts of what Planned Parenthood does and offers.

Well, it worked with me, BUT only for a minute.

I said, "Just by looking at me, what about me makes you think that?"

Which only made her say more.

So I got myself together saw was happening and I asked her ...

"Do you believe it is a baby?" She said 'NO"

So I told her we have nothing to talk about and walked away holding my grand baby.

I left that woman in the capable hands of my husband and one of our friends.

This same woman, made it a point to talk with all us. I believe we had 10 demonstrators.

Then there were the 2 men.

They were a couple who had come to the art show and were surprised to find us there.

They talked with a friend of mine about how women may or may not be forced into abortions by the men in their lives.

Unfortunately, for them she is a woman who regrets the abortion she had.

It was her future husband that laid out the situation to her, abortion and I marry you OR no abortion and I leave you.

Most people walked by saying hateful remarks.

Or while driving would yell out the windows how much they hate us.

And then out of no where came a young college age girl with a another person.

The girl is Pro Life and began asking if Planned Parenthood was opening in this location.

It was wonderful to meet her and see her friendly smile!!

And because we were able to walk back and forth in front of the door the police were called. The lady hosting the event was very upset

that we have a legal right to walk back and forth in front of her door.

As long as we do not stop people from entering

we have the right to express our opinion in words and signs.

We chose to use the signs and remain quiet.

The only times we spoke to anyone was when they started the conversations.

Our purpose for being there was to inform everyone attending that the money from each ticket and each purchase was being split 50/50 with Planned Parenthood.

And it was wonderful to have people say they were unaware

that money was going to Planned Parenthood. And then watch them walk away.

Because the police were standing at the front door

and

we were marching back and forth

some people would not go in.

So we stopped Planned Parenthood from making some money that night.

And that is a good night in the PRO LIFE movement.

For it is true we learn by example.

I was thinking the other morning about how long have I have been helping girls who are pregnant. And you will not believe what came to mind.

An old cinder block building.

It sat in back of our house. It was the summer before my 7th grade. The building had a washer inside and the windows were open holes without glass panes. My Mama thought this would be a great place to put my radio an the few records I owned.

My girlfriends on the block would come over and we would practice our dance moves. We were a bunch of misfits enjoying the summer. Each girl was coming of age in her own way. One was shy and bookish, her sister enjoyed playing ball, another loved singing but hated her glasses, and one always suffered from her home perm given by her aunt.

And then there was Pam & me. She visited with her grandparents in the summer. She & I just clinked. We seemed to have grown into little barbie dolls over night. Pam could do all the new dances. And took great pride in teaching us. I knew we were different by the way the older boys always wanted to walk with us or talk with us. I saw no use in boys since at the time I had 5 younger brothers. I could not imagine what older boys could offer that I might want! It was summer and we were free and dancing the days away in that cinder block building.

Near the end of summer I started to notice that Pam did not walk across the field to our home. Looking back I guess Mama noticed, because out of the blue one day she walked out the back door, through the field, across the road and up onto Pam’s grandparents front porch. I stared in disbelief while hanging out the clothes. I could not imagine what my Mama would be doing at their house.

Then Mama walked back across the street, though field and straight to our back door. She paused on the top step and looked at me. Then she said, “Pam is pregnant.” I just stood there, clothes pins attached to my shirt, in my hand a wet diaper waiting to go on the line and I am sure the most confused look Mama ever saw on my face. Pam could not be pregnant. She was only a couple of years older than me. But as I slowly hung up the clothes I would sneak a peek across the field. By the time I had finished the words had become real. Pam is pregnant.

I would love to say that I grew that summer and became Pam’s best friend, but I did not. She never came over and when school started my thoughts went other places.

One day when I came home I saw Mama out back talking with Pam. She would hand Mama the clothes pins as they moved down the line. Every now and then stopping to laugh. She still looked the same from the back, but when she turned around her belly surprised me. I stood by the window wondering how she was doing.

After all my brothers went to bed that night, I asked Mama why they were laughing. She did not share much, but said Pam would come over during the day and they would keep each other company. Now, I realize the importance of those months. Back then your parents would not let you be friends with a young, single, pregnant girl. Pam must have felt very lonely though out her pregnancy. My Mama, the mother of 6 children, was reaching out to Pam. And my Mama knew about loneliness. During those moments of laughter and quiet talks Mama was giving love. She was offering her emotional & physical support along with sugar biscuits and weak coffee. Sharing in jokes about her children and the reality of life with a baby.

I barely remember when Pam gave birth. We moved not long after that and I never saw her again.

Now almost 38 years later I remember my Mama & Pam with a tenderness that surprises even me. And I can see without my knowing it, how that friendship opened up a place in my heart. I was not my Mama easiest child, more like her toughest one. But I think she would be happy to know that I remember this time in our life together. That I learned something about compassion from her. And to know she was the sign I stood behind that summer and watched her give love to pregnant women in need.

Let God’s Grace shine! Offer yourself to a Mom.

And if you are lucky, God might give you a Pam to love.

The following things are yelled by the escorts.

“Get the **** out of here”

You are blocking the driveway ( said every time I walk from one side to the other)

Are you an illiterate terrorist or can you read?

Shut the **** up

Get away from me you scum (when he comes over to stand in front of my sign)

pro life = murder

you don’t know right from wrong ... you don’t know ****

we are going to kill all those babies just bring them all in here

**** you terrorist

I do not want to hear your terrorist religion

QUIET QUIET QUIET QUIET ......ETC..... (shouted at us)

you’ve got **** on your sign

Jesus is a man made event

get the **** out of my face

you are a **** criminal

a reck less driver needs to rearrange your body parts

they don’t care about your stupid sign

I am not threatened by your God

ripe open the bellies of pregnant women

B**** nazis B****

I will kick your teeth out of your ******* mouth

pro life is a lie you don’t care if women die

(chanted over & over from a person on speaker phone held out for me to hear)

you have a KKK truck here

who the **** are you?

If you read this far

you are probably wondering

how do we respond to these words from the escorts?

PRAYER

I can hold my own in a discussion,

but these people are not looking to discuss the issues.

They only want to make noise and try to lead our emotions into anger.

Each Saturday, for a few weeks I would leave

and just shake my head thinking about how lost are these people?

But now, I believe they are not looking for salvation.

These escorts, are quite happy in their lives.

And they find great joy in trying to humiliate us.

I find myself at times becoming numb

to their spiritual needs

and angry at their indifference

for the babies who die.

It upsets me greatly

to see their lack of compassion for the women.

It is during these moments

that I ask everyone I know to pray for me and my friends.

For each of us do suffer with these emotions from time to time.

Sometimes it is very hard

to look at these escorts

as they shout

and remember

to pray for them.

For I must pray for them while standing there.

For when standing on the enemy’s ground

only PRAYER can win this battle.

So I am asking for you spread the word to your

Sunday School classes,

women’s groups,

youth groups,

men’s groups,

Bible study groups,

anyone you know who does pray,

to please ask God to give us strength as we stand there on Saturdays.

Pray that I will live my life as a Christian in front of the escorts.

"Tender Moment on a Saturday morning"

As I walked to my car on Saturday morning

I watched a very touching moment.

At first glance you will see a woman talking with a man.

As they stand in the driveway

she puts her hand to her forehead to block the sun

as she looks up into his eyes.

He glands down and shakes his head.

A moment later he takes the paper she is holding.

She watches as he goes to stand by the door.

Then she walks away.

Now in the Pro Life movement from a distance this is progress.

The material got into the hands of a man

who has brought a woman for an abortion.

And that is cause for praise and thanksgiving to God.

But I happen to know the woman. She is very quiet.

She actually has a hearing problem, so talking with strangers

can be somewhat of a challenge for her.

I got out of my car and walked over to where she now stood.

We talked for a few minutes about the police cars

that had come by earlier in the morning.

Then she shared with me, her visit with this man.

It seems that he walked over to her

and he said “I tired to talk her out of it."

My friend talked with him for a minute then listened

as he said it again, “I tired to talk her out of it.”

She realized that this man did not want to be there.

He did not want to be a part of what was happening.

And he desperately did not want to be inside that building.

When she offered him the information

to show his friend he said he would.

but he did not go right back in.

Maybe she was already in the back

and he could not get to her.

I do not know.

But what I do know is a casual glance

will never tell the whole story

of two people meeting in a driveway

for only a few moments.

That time gave this man

a chance to share his heart.

My friend offer him prayer and kindness.

She was a place where he could go

and speak his feelings.

She was able to remind him of God’s love.

She was where God needed her to be.

Her tenderness made her the right

person for this man.

Could you be the next right person?

Could you come out an

pray for an hour?

Answered Prayers Today

40 Days for Life

We were blessed today when two women change their minds and left the abortion mill.

The first woman was crying so hard. When I saw her leaving in her car, I thought she was crying because she was regretting the abortion. But within minutes a Pro Life friend told me, that the lady had stopped to let us know that she did not have the abortion. No one in our Pro Life group had spoken with her. The Lord moved in her heart and she changed her mind.

The second woman was a young lady of college age. She spent a long time talking with one of the Pro Life men about her life. I believe that God was present during this conversation.

He did not share their talk with anyone. Only that, She did want us to know she changed her mind.

It is not every day in the battle to save babies lives that we get to hear our prayers have been answered. They could have left and never said a word. I am so grateful to them for sharing.

Please keep praying!!

40 Days for Life

People all over the country will be gathering around abortion clinics 24 hours a day for the next 40 days praying for the closure of these places. But along with that request will be prayers for the women and the babies.

Some women who had abortions and regret them will come to pray to our Lord about that child and the life that was lost.

Some will pray for grand children that were never born.

Some will pray for the souls of the babies that have died.

And some will be there because they chose to keep their baby and want to say thank you Lord for this precious life.

Others will be there asking God to watch over a baby they gave up for adoption.

I will be there asking God to guide me into ways that can help. To show me how to open people’s eyes to the horrible death these babies endure. To help bring the truth of what happens during an abortion.

Below are two prayers that I have prayed over the years.

They are not word for word but I hope they can help you. I believed that once you start, God will talk with you and your heart will open up and the words will start pouring out. Just pray.

Prayer for hurting women

Dear Lord,

I do not know how to help the women who come here. I understand each woman is hurting deeply. And that she must feel so alone right now. I have never been good at dealing with emotions. If I can help then send me a woman who I can help. I live a life far apart from women who may come here,at least I think I do. But God, I just know I want to help the women in need. So please, show me how.

Amen

Prayer for babies

Dear Lord,

Unless you come today then I know that more babies will be kill here in this place. I know that the procedures are very painful to the babies. I know that their nervous system is working and their hearts are beating. Please dear Lord, if there is someway to protect them from the pain please do it. Please dear Lord, spare them. I hate that they are ripped apart or burned or cut apart. Please Lord, can you stop the pain they will feel. And God, I am sorry that we have let these babies down. That we let our country go in this direction.

Amen

If you are wondering how to get involved and are not sure where to start. Then please go to www.40daysforlife.com